Being lonely sucks. I haven’t had the best streak when it
comes to relationships. In many cases, this is the cause of a lot of people’s
depression. Even though I’m an introvert and usually enjoy being by myself,
even I can feel a little empty on the inside when there’s no one to share
special moments with. On New Year’s Eve of 2014 I sat alone while friends were
gone visiting family or at work. My original plans fell through thanks to the
icy roads, so I was doomed to a quiet living room with some TV. I must have
received dozens of Snapchats of people doing awesome things in big cities or
having some kind of crazy party. On top of that I wasn’t really feeling all too
well. I had a terrible, terrible day at work. I mean have a holiday filled with
alcohol and you’re going to have a lot of people who want a lot of pizza. It’s
simple math. All I could focus on was how alone I felt and then something
changed that.
I heard
a knock on my door, to which I, even though feeling so alone, was unhappy to
hear. I opened the door and two of my friends Sean and Garrett (best friends a
guy could have). I had told these two that I was feeling a tad bit sick and
they brought me over a 20 oz 7-up. I felt stupid for feeling lonely. I have
friends who genuinely love me and are awesome at showing that love. We
continued to talk about what we wanted to see this next year. Real cliché, I
know. It was a nice evening and I eventually kicked them out due to wanting to
get some rest. The point that I’m trying to get at is just because I didn’t
have a midnight kiss, doesn’t mean I was alone. In fact, I have some of the
best friends a person could have. When depression hits, it brings on serious,
dangerous tunnel vision. I was so blinded by feeling lonely that I couldn’t see
the real truth of the situation. All I could focus on was the little cloud in
the sky that was blocking out about 5% of the sunlight. That’s really dumb of
me.
Now, I
can honestly say that I am very blessed by the people around me. I’m blessed by
the professors of my college, by the people I work with, and by the friends
that I consider family. Perhaps this is not the same scenario for you. You may
feel utterly alone because you are, which means that me telling you to focus on
the ones who bring joy into your life isn’t possible. Perhaps you feel unloved
or unwanted by the people around you. I have definitely felt that way before. I
want you to know this simple fact and hold on to it for me: I love you. Sure, I
don’t know you, but that’s just how I was raised and what I believe. If you
ever need anyone to talk to I’m here! I can’t promise to be able to talk every
second of the day, but I can promise to help you as best as I can. Remember the
truth: You are not alone, even if you just have one person that cares and I care.
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